CIRCLES ARE NOT ALWAYS ROUND
About life’s moments, impermanence, transformation and circles
Moments of life…
The sudden thrills and chills you feel when you hear a great song, see an amazing piece of art or witness an invaluable talent, achievement…The excitement of trying to find a pen to write all the thoughts down that are spiraling in your
head, when your fragile, delicate muse suddenly decides to visit your brain, forcing you to pull your car over…Having the courage to pull out the passionate piece that is buried deep inside you out to the surface -as if you are pulling a naughty boy’s ear…When sailing with the amazing dolphins, standing at the edge of the boat with a pounding heart every single time, before you jump into the sea to swim with them. Having the will, desire or curiosity to sit up and wait all night long to watch the young and fresh rising sun painting the sky into a sweet ruby color with her graceful hands, without ever thinking, ‘it always rises the same way anyway’… While walking your dog under the heavy rain, watching the seagulls flying over the lake, screeching, playing with the timid sun rays coming through the dark clouds, and at the background, suddenly realizing a magnificent rainbow rising into the sky… Thinking, ‘If I didn’t choose to be here right now, I would have missed this. It is that simple.’ Feeling the surprise of discovering one night, that the brightest star reflecting on the sea exactly like the moonlight is not the North Pole, but actually the Jupiter.
Holding the hearts of your dear ones in the palm of your hands gently and kissing, taking care of them, sometimes clinging & grabbing too much, trying not to let go, but sooner or later you will have to… Knowing that letting go needs courage and it doesn’t always mean giving up.
Trying to take a break from life, looking for your inner true self -or maybe just trying to lose yourself – wondering in the crowded, non-judgmental, non-cliché streets of Beyoglu with a feeling of liberation. Knowing in your gut that ‘now’ is the right time to let go of the things or people to whom you have to say goodbye to. Trusting and surrendering to the universe to let it do the work. Opening space in our hearts for new experiences.
The unforgettable moment of bursting with mindfulness, of stepping outside of the house you lived in for a while, knowing you might never come back… Acknowledging that moving every 2-3 years, living in different cities and countries for the last 15 years, has provided you with a good opportunity to practice your detachment skills. While waiting in traffic, watching from the rear view mirror the car behind you, just like a movie scene, a husband and a wife so damn sad with dull eyes, without any passion or motivation to be alive, so lifeless, with such a dry hopelessness on their faces. Realizing so many people around us live with no creative energy and internal power whatsoever, to be truly alive…
Whereas, it is enough to have even a glass of clean water to feel alive. Being able to see in the eyes of a lover, a few mysterious unsaid but sweet, charming words… Taking very long walks-just because you can. Taste of freshly baked bread with chocolate melting inside… A brilliant smile is enough to feel alive. Hearing a few special words from your precious friends, when you need them the most, that feels like a feast to your soul. Or, just the sun like a giant orange, setting into the sea. The misty new dawn of the day- always remembering that ‘a new dawn is a new beginning’. Being a devoted follower of the ever-changing mystic moon. Just watching thousands of playful stars flickering in the night…
All these moments and special times…they are always there, only desperately in need of one’s awareness, mindfulness, and realization. Acknowledging, appreciating, exploring life’s moments piece-by-piece, step-by-step is enough to be fully alive…Undeniably, life plays so many games on us. Sometimes very unexpected ones, sometimes joyful, exciting ones or challenging ones that can turn into brand new opportunities. And sometimes, unbearably sad and difficult ones, that cause us to suffer…
Every 5-6 seconds of our lives, we make conscious and unconscious decisions -ticking like a bomb waiting any minute from then on to react, blossom, occur…
Good decisions make things roll smoothly.
Bad decisions make good stories.
‘Spring knows how to be summer and autumn leaves know how to fall
down. Coming together and falling apart is the movement of time, movement of life… Accepting impermanence means that we spend less energy resisting reality. We see that impermanence is a river that runs through life, not a rock that stands in the way.’ Sakyong Mipham*
Impermanence is unavoidable and we face it in our lives in every situation whether we like it or not, that’s the only way life can work. Without impermanence, everything would last forever. And we couldn’t be in a relationship to anything, because it would change us… ’Life’ itself simply would be impossible. Understanding and accepting impermanence is a liberating experience as it teaches us to be less attached. By nature, every relationship involves a meeting and parting. This doesn’t mean we have less love. It means we have fewer fixations, less grasping on people, things and pleasure. Less suffering, less desperateness, more dignity, more freedom, more wisdom…
When we accept impermanence calmly and peacefully, we just realize and purely live the moments. We sometimes find ourselves smiling in a subtle way, not being overwhelmed or dragged by the moments, experiences because we know deep down that this will soon change as well. The true aim and only reality is just ‘being’ in that moment, knowing that the only worthwhile moment is the one we are in, just like there is no importance of the previous or the next breath…
Once we learn to accept impermanence, we become capable of self-generation, we start to learn to adapt life’s changes, turbulences, as quickly as if we were cats.
Acknowledge. Accept. Adapt. And Transform.
The mysterious and exciting Latin word for transformation! The greatest power is to renew and rebuild our lives in order to create a better ‘us’. Re-birth through experiencing transformation in our emotional and spiritual lives. To learn to transform the self, through the experience of conflict, challenge and letting go. While we are transforming ourselves, there is a strong chance that we become an agent of transformation and renewal for others as well…
Circles are not always round.
Along the way, they twist. They spiral. They crook. They zigzag. They become dotted. They might possibly go straight for a while. And sometimes they even fade away… But, inevitably, somewhat relentlessly, and at the same time, in a magnificently perfect way they eventually turn and meet the other end! Millions of dots hold hands to form a circle. They are all connected to each other. What one dot gives to the neighboring dot, after all the travelling, sooner or later, it eventually comes back to the starting point.
What we plant here & now is what we get in the end. The question is; what happens in the middle? And how long does it take to come back? To us…
How you perceive the end of the book actually depends on why you started it in the first place and what intentions you had along the way.
Circle of life itself.
Divya Beste Dolanay
* Present leader of the Shambhala Tradition lineage- from his bestseller book ‘Turning The Mind into an Ally’